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A Joyful Life Continues
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Chris from Iowa, Survivor 1995 & 2005
My Story
In 1995 I was diagnosed the first time with breast cancer after my annual mammogram. I had a feeling that it was cancer when the x-ray department called me back to have more pictures taken. I remember sobbing in my surgeon’s arms. What a wonderful man he was!! He scheduled me for surgery within days, stating it was an aggressive cancer but it was caught early. After the initial sobbing break down, I went into a fighting mode. My surgeon said we would lick this cancer and I believed him. In preparation for surgery, I did all sorts of positive activities: prayer, exercise, good food, positive visualizations, etc.
The day of surgery I took my usual early morning walk. It was a gray day. No sun but….I looked over my shoulder and there was a rainbow in the sky. How could that be? I knew it was a divine sign from God that everything would be OK. I felt very blessed.
I had a mastectomy of my left breast. I chose not to have reconstructive surgery. My feeling was that (1) I wanted to make sure I was cancer free before doing anything and (2)( more important to me) I did not want more cutting on my body nor did I want any foreign substance in my body.
Fortunately for me, I did not have to go through radiation or chemo at that time. I adjusted to being lopsided for 10 years. That was probably the hardest process for me.
My husband was wonderful. He accepted me lopsided or not. I was still very sexually appealing to him. He stated that he did not want me to go through any more surgery or pain and I knew he meant it. I was the one who had trouble accepting my appearance. But over time I came to terms with my lopsidedness.
One thing that helped me accept my lopsidedness was a poster I saw. When I was ready to be fitted for my prosthesis, I visited a lovely lady’s lingerie shop. In the fitting room there was a large poster of a beautiful young lady who had one breast removed. I looked at that poster and said “Wow, she is pretty, happy, and she only has one breast.” If she is so “together” with all this then I can be also. And that is why I am part of this special project [www.PortraitsAndStories.com]. I am happy, healthy, and (as my husband says) attractive and I don’t have any breasts. I hope I can give some hope to someone else who is in the same situation.
In 2005 I felt a lump in my remaining breast. At first it was diagnosed as a cyst. I cried out to the Lord praying that it wasn’t cancer. He gave me six months of reprieve knowing that I was not ready to deal with the challenge. Unfortunately it was cancer. It was a totally different kind than what I had before. It too was caught early thank goodness. (Those regular checkups are so important. I always have some trepidation, afraid something will be found but…the alternative is worse by just ignoring your health.)
I chose to have another mastectomy to make sure that all of the tissue was gone although the surgeon got it all in the biopsy. This time I did have to have chemo. I gained a new appreciation for all those individuals who have had to experience the effects of these dramatic treatments. It’s certainly not pleasant but we get through it. I spent weeks on my sofa in front of the TV. Getting up in the morning was difficult for me due to nausea.
My nurturing food that I could handle was hot instant potatoes. My dear husband would get up first thing in the morning and whip up those instant potatoes with melted butter. I would eat that in bed before I could get up on my feet.
The stacks of cards I received really helped me get through the day. Friends stopping by bring food, news, smiles and laughs. That really helped.
For my third chemo treatment my daughter, daughter-in-law, and my nine month year old granddaughter arrived. They stayed for the week cooking, cleaning, walking with me, and just entertaining me. It was such a shot in the arm.
Although I have been through this difficult experience I am so happy to be alive…flat chested and all.
I discovered that even small breasts weigh a pound each. Now when I get home I feel so much more comfortable without breasts so I whip off those two pounds and that irritating bra. It’s sooo much more comfortable.
And as I said I am so grateful to be alive. Five more grandchildren have arrived, I started my own Geriatric Care Management practice, and my husband and I continue to have a joyful life together.
Chris from Iowa, Survivor 1995 and 2005
Master Photographer Barb Gordon, www.GordonPhotography.Biz
www.PortraitsAndStories.com a photo essay project to bless breast cancer survivors, their family, and friends. Find inspiration and encouragement here through photographs and stories.
Karen’s Story
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After finding out that I had stage 3 breast cancer that was an aggressive tubular cancer and the mass was large, my mind flew into a dark deep tunnel and I felt completely alone. No one else was there, and no one else could help me. My control was gone¸ My God had disappeared and my family didn’t know what to do to help me. After days of seeing different doctors, radiation and chemotherapy specialists, the matter only worsened. A foreign language was spoken and I didn’t understand.
At my darkest time, I realized that I had to wake up to the reality that yes, I did have breast cancer. I had to accept that fact and although I couldn’t control it physically, I could educate myself about the treatments offered. I could learn more about breast cancer itself and most of all, get rid of the helpless feeling that I had growing inside me. Learning about the new life path I had to travel was very painful and frightening. The wealth of information sometimes sent me reeling. But at the end (or beginning ?) of my self-education into breast cancer, I had knowledge. If I questioned anything, anything at all, I would ask my health professional for clarification.
So, you see, even at my “dark tunnel” time, I learned that I could persevere, I took charge and overcame a lot of my fear. God hadn’t forsaken me, no, he was guiding me. You have probably all heard this poem, “Footprints in the Sand” ” written by Mary Stevenson. A poem I go to many times.
I had a funny (or maybe I should call it phenomenal experience when I went in to surgery. One of the nurses asked, would I mind if a priest and a nun go into surgery with me. They wanted to follow my surgery and stay at the hospital to try to better understand what women actually went through while having a mastectomy. They also wanted to be more knowledgeable about breast cancer. I am not Catholic, but flashing through my mind was how great would this be, to have two spiritual leaders close to me in surgery? Thank you God! Really, it still gives me shivers to think about it. They did just that, with a quiet prayer before I entered surgery and another when I left the hospital. Quite truthfully from that time on I had a mental strength that I myself could not believe I could ever possess.
I became a volunteer for Reach to Recovery as soon as possible on my “survivor” road. I was blessed with a wonderful Reach to Recovery visitor. She came to my hospital room and shared a bit of her journey, brought me some most helpful goodies regarding my recovery time. But, she mostly listened and advised when it appropriate for her to do so. I knew this was something I wanted to do down the survivor road. To help others walking this same difficult path. This was the time that I realized the experience that I was going through was not just about me. It involves all those who have been singled out to go down the breast cancer road. I owe all of you wonderful women that may experience breast cancer to let you know my story and how through all the bad moments, I am a better person because of it.
Have you heard of Lymphodema? This is very important information that I want to share with you: lymphedema refers to swelling that occurs most often in your arms or legs. It may affect just one arm or leg, but sometimes lymphedema can involve both arms or both legs.
The swelling occurs when a blockage in your lymphatic system prevents the lymph fluid in your arm or leg from draining adequately. As the fluid accumulates, the swelling continues.
No cure for lymphedema exists. But lymphedema can be controlled. Controlling lymphedema involves diligent care of your affected limb. I have a mild case of lymphedema and wear a sleeve to keep the swelling down. I am lucky as I do not have a severe case, to me it’s just a nuisance, but it can be severe and you owe it to yourself to know as much about as possible. I have included a couple of links below, you will find much information on the web.
Last but not least, I am a 12 year survivor!!
Resources:
Mercy Hospital, Cedar Rapids IA, Breast & Bone Health
St. Luke’s Hospital, Breast & Bone Care
UI Breast Health, Iowa City IA, Breast Cancer
Mercy Hospital, Cedar Rapids IA, Lymphodema
Mayo Clinic, Rochester MN, Lymphodema
www.PortraitsAndStories.com a photo essay project to bless breast cancer survivors, their family, and friends. Find inspiration and encouragement here through photographs and stories.