Archive for Lessons Learned
Focus on Yourself
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{I learned}To realize that this cancer is about you, pamper yourself and indulge in sleep all you want, it’s a healing process. [I learned] that I am strong.
{My every day life changed when} I had to learn to slow down, say no when I’m too exhausted. Offer rides, try to cook and get them to eat nutritionally. Learn to accommodate your treatments and take the day off. Ask for help.
–Stacey from Texas, Survivor January 2009
www.PortraitsAndStories.com a photo essay project to bless breast cancer survivors, their family, and friends. Find inspiration and encouragement here through photographs and stories.
Mortality-The Big Lesson
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The cancer diagnosis caused my world to spin in the opposite direction. I was a teacher for over 30 years. I was accustomed to being energetic, independent, and of course, in control. Suddenly, I was not in control; instead of giving help and support, I was accepting it. One night I was an active, strong and healthy tango dancer, the next I was a fatigued cancer patient who could not find the energy to put on my heels.
The next year my life revolved around taking care of myself. Try as I might, I could not resist the lure of the information and research available on the Internet.
Although there was no evidence of cancer outside my breast or in my nodes, the doctors recommended chemotherapy following the surgery. Again, I was absolutely terrified but I felt taking the doctor’s suggestion was the right thing for me. Six months of hard chemo passed; the side effects were unpleasant, but not nearly as bad as I had imagined.
I suppose it is natural to take stock of the past when the future is so seriously threatened. Strange as it may sound, I feel like one very lucky woman: the cancer was discovered on a mammogram while in stage 1 before it had spread; I was blessed with a network of family and friends to care for me; I had access to the very finest doctors and medical team available anywhere. I know that there is a possibility of a recurrence, life is uncertain and fragile for all of us, but I also know (if we ask) that God will always be with us.
In our society, it is easy go through the life rushing to get things done. Cancer is a reminder to live each day fully; to seize the opportunity to express love and appreciation to those we care about, to take the time to stop and notice little things that can make life so enjoyable, to help others and to remember to be thankful for the many blessings we have.
Rosemary from Iowa, Survivor July 2008
www.PortraitsAndStories.com a photo essay project to bless breast cancer survivors, their family, and friends. Find inspiration and encouragement here through photographs and stories.
They Won’t Call You
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I learned that telling someone ill to “call if they need anything” was not the right thing to to. Although saying so made me feel like I was available to them, in reality a sick person needs you to call them, offer to help, and volunteer more than once to assist them. All personality types are different, but I noticed not only did I not want to ask for help, sometimes I just couldn’t.
It is hard to explain to someone who has not experienced all the chemical changes a chemo patient experiences, but some people get too sick to think rationally at all sometimes. I didn’t feel like even changing the channel on the TV, pray for myself, or ask someone to read to me because I couldn’t read either. So even the type of people that may normally be able to ask for help and comforting may not be able to so well during this time of treatment.
This lesson I have found applies to sick people, disabled and the elderly as well. I would not have understood this at all if it were not for going through chemo myself.
Barb Gordon from Iowa, Survivor May 2006 (Portraits & Stories photographer)
www.PortraitsAndStories.com a photo essay project to bless breast cancer survivors, their family, and friends. Find inspiration and encouragement here through photographs and stories.
Elevated my Self-Worth
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I learned that I had a pretty low opinion of myself prior to this event. I shouldn’t have been so amazed at the friends I had that helped me so much, but I was. I guess I didn’t think that I was that likeable. Being such an independent and normally capable person, to find out that it was alright to need people, to accept their help, and that they actually wanted to help was a blessing.
Barb Gordon from Iowa, Survivor May 2006 (Portraits & Stories photographer)
www.PortraitsAndStories.com a photo essay project to bless breast cancer survivors, their family, and friends. Find inspiration and encouragement here through photographs and stories.
One Thing I Learned
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What major thing did I learn about myself: Since my diagnosis I have done a lot of research and reading about cancer in general because I believe there is power in knowledge. Many women who have written books reference their epiphany or life altering event. I’m still waiting for some indicator of the purpose of this diagnosis I was given although it is slowly emerging.
I consider myself to be an independent person and I think those who know me well, would agree with the description. It was very difficult for me then, to let people know when I needed something or to admit I even needed anything.
It was very humbling for me to realize that not only was it okay to need others, it actually helped my family and friends to know they were needed and that they could do something concrete that would help me. Needing others isn’t a weakness, it is truly a blessing that binds us closer to one another. It is just one of many gifts I have been given on this journey.
Barb from Iowa, Survivor October 2008
www.PortraitsAndStories.com a photo essay project to bless breast cancer survivors, their family, and friends. Find inspiration and encouragement here through photographs and stories.